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It's a credit report that's the opposite of free.
This product will ensure that you will never watch another episode of American Idol.
Fight guilt with guilt.
Are you wealthy enough to eat healthy enough?
Taking hands-free to a "hole" new level.
For your ugly baby.
There's no help for you, I'm sorry.
Now that's what I call a vacation!
We may be crazy, but we sure as hell know balloons.
Get shot, get legal.
It's like a one dollar bill except it works a billion times better!
To combat boobie stank.
When you want your cake to be tons more cakier.
Nothing satisfies like cat shit.
It's a fun and easy way to purchase hot new CD's.
Funerals aren't boring when there's a celebrity.
It's a bank just for change!
You're hired!
Get your office war zone ready.
Now you can have as many credit cards as you want.
Are you cool enough for debt?
This box will keep you out of trouble.
Careful, he's dirty.
He'll fuck your cat.
Watch or die!
It's a fact if I say it's a fact.
Fill that emotional void with anonymous sex.
Why worship them when you can tell them to fuck off.
Because otherwise you're worthless.
A medication for your illness.
There's one thing we can learn from the Republicans.
You'll blow something off.
Another satisfied customer.
You'll take two!
Because parenting is about you.
Live in fear no more.
Renting is for dumbshits.
We make public masturbation legal by putting it in a box.
Someone has to be worse off than you right? Right?
The opposite of fun.
Perfect for slow news days.
Warning: May kill hundreds, possibly thousands of people.
This is the job for you, asshole!
Yes, it's a real job.
Where the pets fart.
We have a drug for that.
Try it, you'll like it.
PH balanced for the media.
See the real America.
All we'll need is your money and soul.
They're buttons only sexy.
They're curtains only sexy.
They sell themselves.
We've got a fuckload of candles.
It'll save your life.
Do it for Grandma Betty.
Really, this is all Grandma Betty has.
They'll never let you have it.
Well then you're an asshole.
Blast your problems out.
Get your coffee much, much faster.
What's the use?
The secret is in the spray.
Give it to your kids straight, they deserve it.
Just eat it.
It's not dead until it's super dead.
It's the only way to vote.
Keep out the Commies.
Walleye from ten different lakes.
Teach your kids some real values.
Satan's drink.
They're just socks with wieners.
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